Posted by: paul in Untagged on
Sep 11, 2008
I’m so mad I could just…
Someone has just broken a promise to you—and in your view, the consequences could be dire. Your career could be on the line, all because this person broke his promise. The more you think about it the angrier you get. You decide you need to say something to the promise-breaker for what he has done.
But before you open your mouth, it’s probably wise to step back and realise that you are angry. Possibly very angry. And while angry is a normal, and often positive emotion (it can save and protect us and our loved ones, or end some types of threatening situations because it hurls people into action), you should probably take some time to first recognise your anger—and then think about it as your own subjective experience. Someone else in your situation, for instance, might just shrug their shoulders and walk away.
According to Redford Williams, author of Anger Kills, there are many things you can do to manage your anger. Here are some of his suggestions:
• Log your anger. Keep track of what makes you go off, so it will be easier for you to recognize it for what it is when it happens. Learn what makes you angry so that you can develop strategies for containing and channeling it when it occurs.
• When you become angry with someone, try to see the situation from his or her point of view. Employing empathy in this way can defuse your anger. Acknowledging that there is another point of view and that we are all human and at times make mistakes can be a powerful reminder to calm down.
• When all else fails, sometimes laughter is the best antidote to anger. Try to see yourself as you must appear. You’re face is red, and you are behaving irrationally. Try to lighten up a little.
• Try a relaxation technique like deep breathing. Remind yourself that a lot of the things that people become angry over are really not worth devoting the time and energy an angry outburst requires.
• Try to improve your listening skills. Miscommun-ication is often the culprit in situations that inspire anger. Try to hear what the other person is saying, and try to respond to their point of view.
• Be assertive—not aggressive. That means that you need to let others know what your boundaries are. Try not to express yourself when you are being overwhelmed with anger because the chance that you will do a poor job of it is pretty high.
• Try to live every day as if it is your last on Earth. Although it might sound like a cliché, this will help you keep or regain perspective.
• Be forgiving. Try letting go of past hurts and resentments. This is a difficult thing to do, but the reward is your own peace of mind and happiness.
Posted by: paul in Untagged on
Sep 11, 2008
Go, ahead, listen to that music while you write your report
If you can’t talk to two people at the same, and lament that you wish
you were a good multitasker, take heart, you might be a good
multitasker after all.
A new Cornell University study reports that most people are pretty good
at multitasking sensory material, but that when the sensory
characteristics are too close in nature, problems arise.
That means that you might be able to listen to classical music and have
a conversation or write a report, but that if you try to listen to two
conversations at once, you will probably not be able to focus on both
speakers.
In the study, participants had no problems in learning complex
structures that were streamed at them, such as tones, colors and even
speech.
However, according to Christopher Conway, a National Institutes of
Health research fellow at Indiana University and co-author of the
study, “performance dropped when the two sets of sequences were from
the same perceptual class of stimuli, such as two sets of speech
stimuli. Overall, the results show that humans have a very powerful
learning system that allows them to learn from many different sources
of stimuli—as long as that stimuli isn’t too similar.
So, if you want to listen to your iPod or participate in other forms of
multitasking, in general, it shouldn’t affect you negatively by taking
away your focus.
Posted by: paul in Untagged on
Jul 18, 2008
Here are some tips to get you started on managing your time effectively and stopping stress before it starts.
Start with a plan.
Start each day with a plan of accomplishment – what you intend to have done by the end of the day.
Prioritise.
Pick out the most important things on your list of tasks for the day – and put them at the top of the list. That way if you do run short of time over the course of the day, you’ll have finished the most important tasks first.
Learn to distinguish between important and urgent.
Important tasks carry you toward your goal. Urgent tasks sap your energy and take your focus from where it needs to be. As long as you let urgent tasks define your day, you’re operating from a reactionary standpoint – RE-acting rather than acting. The only way to take control of your time is to stop reacting and start acting according to a pre-defined plan.
Posted by: paul in Untagged on
Jul 12, 2008
Life and work pressures can feel overwhelming at times. And when that happens it’s good to take a breather and remind yourself what’s important. Here are a few pearls of wisdom offered by Alan Weiss in his newsletter Balancing Act (www.summitconsulting.com/ newsletter.html)
"Try to remember that what you are shooting for is success—not perfection. That should give some relief—you don’t have to be perfect and you don’t have to make excuses for being human."
Posted by: paul in Untagged on
Jul 12, 2008
If you have a deadline, but you can’t seem to get started on your project, you might need to step back and see what is paralyzing you. Start by assessing why you are unable to act. Ask yourself the following questions:
• What am I afraid of? Am I afraid of learning new material? Venturing into unfamiliar territory? Trying and failing? Looking foolish in front of my peers?
• What is the worst that can happen if you fail? Could you lose your job? Could you be demoted? It’s most likely that you are afraid of appearing foolish, or you are merely afraid of the idea of failing.
Most people have these same fears, and once you realise that you are not alone in your fears, you may be able to move on unimpeded.
Posted by: paul in myblog on
Jan 19, 2007
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